On responsibility of a slash writer

I wrote this post because I can't stand the misinformation of some slash (male/male erotic fan fiction) writers unintentionally propagate. Every time I read certain sentences I cringe. Sometimes I close a browser window not finishing a fic I was loving till I read the dreaded sentence. Good story just loses its appeal. What is it about? Anal sex.

All the quotes in this post are written from memory. The credit is not provided because I don't want this piece to be a hall of shame.

S slipped a wet finger inside H's asshole and H closed his eyes in pain.

Unless S is a giant or this is a rape scenario, one finger shouldn't cause this reaction. Maybe you won't believe it but everybody poops. If one finger caused pain imagine what horrors H would have to survive every time he had a BM.

The first time it hurt so much that I was crying.

That quote is taken from a scene when a character described his first time with an experienced, loving partner. And it's total BS and comes form not understanding the nature of preparation and stretching.

Stretching or anal penetration doesn't stretch out the anus! That's why the people who write "it has to hurt the first few times" are in the wrong. Stretching helps the muscles to relax. At first it might take longer because of the learning curve. You learn how to relax your muscles both consciously and unconsciously. But the process is always the same. Sometimes very deep arousal can speed up the relaxation. On the other hand rushing the process will cause pain and difficulty relaxing the muscles.

Why is it so important and why do I cringe every time I see a version of those quotes? Because painful anal sex leads to dangerous complications. Simply ignoring the bit of stinging  pain at the beginning and treating it as a price of anal sex may during the years irreparably damage the sphincters. In the sphincters there are sensors that tell you when you have to go to the bathroom. If you damage them you'll lose this warnings. That means diapers.

Anal sex when done without adequate caution may also cause fissures but it doesn't cause hemorrhoids.

That's why every time the bottom feels pain the couple needs to stop and look for the cause. Teaching teenage girls that pain during anal sex is normal is harmful. If you don't know how anal penetration feels, read up on the topic and buy yourself a dildo. But don't let your lack of knowledge or romanticized notions about pain spread the misinformation.

And remember: don't let your characters use numbing gels and don't use them on your own butts. You'll tear yourself before you notice that some thing's going wrong.